Jan 4, 2021
In this episode I’ll be addressing a question from a member of our Present Play community.
Tracy from Georgia asked what to do when your children use rude or inappropriate language, and also how to address their negative self-talk.
Thank you for your question Tracy! You are certainly not alone in this struggle. All parents are presented with these challenges (including myself).
There are a few ways to go about it, but I'd like to talk about my preferred approach.
[04:59] Keep in mind: Childhood development is a slow process. Changes are gradual and it takes time, repetition, and consistency.
[06:22] Typical approach #1: Authoritarian Approach
[09:02] Typical approach #2: Permissive Approach
[11:20] 3rd option: Be calm but firm and address the situation.
[12:16] We have to be responsive to the situation, but not reactive.
[12:30] Step 1: Pause, breathe, and calm yourself down. Then state clearly and calmly to yourself and your child what you DO want to see.
[13:23] Say to yourself "I will respond when I've gathered myself and collected my thoughts."
[15:14] Step 2: Calmly explain what will happen if they continue. Just a logical consequence for continuing.
[17:00] It's not a threat or punishment. We're trying to teach them what the results of certain behaviors are.
[17:34] Step 3: Follow through immediately.
[21:13] How to address a child's negative self talk.
[22:38] Center yourself. This is a normal part of childhood and every child needs to work through it.
[25:22] Help them focus on the right things.
[25:53] We're trying to teach our children what advances their agenda and what takes away from it.
[30:36] The energy at which we have these interactions is the most important factor.
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